In May, 2011 - not long after I started this blog and only three weeks after losing my dayjob - I noted that "very very very few arguments with the universe come out in favor of the little guy..."
I would like to continue that thought - and I'd LOVE to get feedback from others out there who've felt pummeled by fate, bullied by life, and ravaged by circumstances.
Here we are, a full nine months after I posted "Zombie Apocalypse". Despite many possibilities for both of us (several prospects even looking like "sure things" after interviews & "inside tracks"), our family of 4 still (barely) survives on unemployment. Uhhhh... as well as the liquidation of retirement and kids' college funds.
When I lost my dayjob, I decided I was tired of doing things that didn't excite me creatively and wanted to do everything I could to find that missing piece of myself. Out there. Somewhere. But I'm no social butterfly (that's my daughter). When I look in the mirror, I see myself as a little, ugly, green & gooey caterpillar inside a claustrophobic chrysalis. It was that last visit with HR that kicked me over the edge - suddenly, I couldn't WAIT to burst forth as a beautiful and flourishing butterfly... and so I became a networker! I put myself further out on a limb than ever before, talking to people, volunteering my time, going to events, interacting with groups as never before.
I won't say that networking's been easy - it's always nice to have a wingman (yes, Michael Lee Barlin, I'm talkin' to you! ;-). Because behind my (nearly) perpetual grin is a kid who's still scared, uncomfortable as hell selling himself and his talents. Like many writers, I'm content to close myself in a room and pound away at the keyboard until the sun doesn't shine (or til it shines again ;-).
But, I gotta say... as a result of my newfound extrovert, I've had AMAZING experiences, met and engaged with AMAZING people in a wide variety of circumstances. And for that, I have only UNEMPLOYMENT to thank...
(Ohhh... if only that paid the bills)
As I watch the ticker go down on the bank account with rent, car, insurance, utilities, food, and gas, breathing down my neck once again, it's hard not to feel bullied by the universe: it wasn't bad enough losing 60% of our household income when I lost my dayjob? It wasn't bad enough that exactly 3 weeks later, the other 40% went bye-bye when my wife was laid off? Dammit, Universe, you've had your way with me already!! Move on!! Go!! Bye Bye!! Don't let the friggin' black hole suck you dry on your way out!!
It was late last week - not long after I reiterated my earlier line about the Universe to a They Live Among Us actor - that I found myself posting to Facebook & Twitter: "
No comments:
Post a Comment