Yeah, yeah... easier said than done.
I've tried to live by this mantra for years now. When my alma mater, Southern Illinois University at Carbondale (go Salukis!), was selling bricks in the courtyard of the Communications building, including this line was a no-brainer. Now, immortalized in stone in a place where many aspiring filmmakers, photographers, and writers hone their craft, I hope this pearl of wisdom gives them permission to LEAP - to scale the walls of self-doubt, of fear, of a world and a system that seem to take more pride in knocking them down and shutting them out than allowing them the opportunity to BE HEARD.
Last year, I was reminded of the LEAP notion when I came across words from Eleanor Roosevelt: "Do one thing every day that scares you." It is only through taking a chance on something that you: a) learn what you're really made of; b) figure out who your REAL champions are; and c) will ACTUALLY succeed.
Yes - to win you MUST play.
Two months ago, I was offered a deal that had the real potential to turn me into a PRODUCED writer. After years of working, my efforts might finally pay off! I was thrilled beyond belief. But after working with an entertainment lawyer on the contract, hammering out a better deal than the one that was first offered, it suddenly occurred to me that there was little assurance that anything would ever come of the deal. The only thing I COULD count on was that one of my best scripts would no longer be mine. Once again, I had to step back, look at every single fucking cell on the spreadsheet of my life, and decide: should I stay or should I go?
I go. ("went" if you want to be a stickler for tenses ;-)
Over the next several days, I had to give myself a pep talk, both publicly AND privately. "Not every deal is a good deal," I said to myself. "They're not the only game out there." NO. THEY. AREN'T.
And it was through subsequent conversations with myself, my family, and some of my closest and dearest friends and confidantes, that I decided: it's time for another LEAP. To make the film. MYSELF.
Some of you may have already seen the opening salvo of this by way of the Twitter (@QuantaMovie) and the Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/QuantaMovie). I will continue building on that. Within the next few weeks, I will launch a campaign on Kickstarter.com to "crowdfund" funds needed to make the film.
Uh, wait... you've never heard of crowdfunding?
Crowdfunding is a concept based around pre-sale of the end product(s): fans, friends, and family can pre-order DVDs, T-shirts, bumper stickers, etc., etc., to allow filmmakers (as well as artists and startups of all kinds) the money they need to launch a project or business. The amazing thing about crowdfunding is that, in a very short time, a successfully funded project can actually BEGIN. Their creators can take a LEAP on that project.
For Quanta, it's not only my dream that would take flight. The project would translate to PAID jobs for 40+ people. Two weeks of employment for artisans skilled in specific crafts, whether it's camera, lights, costumes, or makeup. Most of these professional artists are freelancers - they don't have a 9-5 with a bi-weekly paycheck. They move from job to job working on projects much like Quanta because they love doing what they do.
Yes - it does mean I spend a lot of time with ANOTHER spreadsheet these days: my budget. But really, it's just a subset of the main data. Lots of numbers, lots of new cells, lots of new lives affected.
I'll keep plugging away, and, of course, keep you apprised as much as possible along the way.
Now go... LEAP.
The net will appear.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Punctual Punctuation
Recently I came across a comment about punctuation - and how it belongs INSIDE quotations. If you've been a reader of mine, you might have noticed that I tend to do both... Some of that is due to an internal conflict of mine, which I will outline here...
DISCLAIMER: I grew up with the Oxford comma, i.e. the comma before "and." I am still a firm believer in the Oxford comma, as it differentiates items in a list of three or more. But nowadays, some venues have killed the Oxford comma. Not sure why/when it became unfashionable or antiquated, but you won't see me changing my stance on this one anytime soon. Guess I'm old-fashioned that way...
And, yes, I also grew up with the notion that punctuation belongs INSIDE quotations. My struggle of late has been that, by placing a period or comma (or any other punctuation for that matter) within quotes implies that your "source" material also included it. As I consider that, however, I've come to believe that punctuation within quotes can change context or change the meaning of the original quote altogether.
For example: let's say you're working on a journalistic piece about Hollywood and contracts. Needless to say, contracts are dry, emotionless documents; every sentence ends with a period. But if you're quoting a contractual stipulation about "net profits" in your story, these two quotes can read QUITE differently:
If you are a consumer of printed material, you'll recall the use of bracketed information to "clarify" the meaning of a partial quote - e.g. Writer stated he "...never agreed to 5% of [net] profits..." The ellipsis, of course, indicate that the quote is from some larger work, whether a lengthy article or interview. But this can be a very slippery slope... That word in brackets can make all the difference in the subject's intention; yes, it can clarify meaning. But worse, it can confuse or (inadvertently) CHANGE the meaning of the subject's actual words BASED ON THE REPORTER'S OWN INTERPRETATION. In Hollywood - where the profit paradox has been widely established - a reporter's "innocent" interpretation in this one line could make a HUGE difference. Was the writer really talking about "net profits" in this comment? Or could s/he have been speaking of "gross profits" i.e. ALL profits when he was speaking? Context - or lack thereof - is often benign. But interpretations like this can potentially be detrimental in a court of law (or even the court of public opinion). We could probably recall a dozen or more different instances where conflict arose out of words taken out of context...
Think about it.
"Think about it."
"Think about it!"
P.S. While you chew on this, forgive my glossing over the obvious... Yes, it's been about 4 months since my last post. But let me assure you, there are some very INTERESTING cells that have been added onto my life's spreadsheet in that time. I promise to share very soon!! ;-)
DISCLAIMER: I grew up with the Oxford comma, i.e. the comma before "and." I am still a firm believer in the Oxford comma, as it differentiates items in a list of three or more. But nowadays, some venues have killed the Oxford comma. Not sure why/when it became unfashionable or antiquated, but you won't see me changing my stance on this one anytime soon. Guess I'm old-fashioned that way...
And, yes, I also grew up with the notion that punctuation belongs INSIDE quotations. My struggle of late has been that, by placing a period or comma (or any other punctuation for that matter) within quotes implies that your "source" material also included it. As I consider that, however, I've come to believe that punctuation within quotes can change context or change the meaning of the original quote altogether.
For example: let's say you're working on a journalistic piece about Hollywood and contracts. Needless to say, contracts are dry, emotionless documents; every sentence ends with a period. But if you're quoting a contractual stipulation about "net profits" in your story, these two quotes can read QUITE differently:
"Writer agrees to 5% of net profits."!
"Writer agrees to 5% of net profits!"
If you are a consumer of printed material, you'll recall the use of bracketed information to "clarify" the meaning of a partial quote - e.g. Writer stated he "...never agreed to 5% of [net] profits..." The ellipsis, of course, indicate that the quote is from some larger work, whether a lengthy article or interview. But this can be a very slippery slope... That word in brackets can make all the difference in the subject's intention; yes, it can clarify meaning. But worse, it can confuse or (inadvertently) CHANGE the meaning of the subject's actual words BASED ON THE REPORTER'S OWN INTERPRETATION. In Hollywood - where the profit paradox has been widely established - a reporter's "innocent" interpretation in this one line could make a HUGE difference. Was the writer really talking about "net profits" in this comment? Or could s/he have been speaking of "gross profits" i.e. ALL profits when he was speaking? Context - or lack thereof - is often benign. But interpretations like this can potentially be detrimental in a court of law (or even the court of public opinion). We could probably recall a dozen or more different instances where conflict arose out of words taken out of context...
Think about it.
"Think about it."
"Think about it!"
P.S. While you chew on this, forgive my glossing over the obvious... Yes, it's been about 4 months since my last post. But let me assure you, there are some very INTERESTING cells that have been added onto my life's spreadsheet in that time. I promise to share very soon!! ;-)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Arguing with the Universe... continued
In May, 2011 - not long after I started this blog and only three weeks after losing my dayjob - I noted that "very very very few arguments with the universe come out in favor of the little guy..."
I would like to continue that thought - and I'd LOVE to get feedback from others out there who've felt pummeled by fate, bullied by life, and ravaged by circumstances.
Here we are, a full nine months after I posted "Zombie Apocalypse". Despite many possibilities for both of us (several prospects even looking like "sure things" after interviews & "inside tracks"), our family of 4 still (barely) survives on unemployment. Uhhhh... as well as the liquidation of retirement and kids' college funds.
When I lost my dayjob, I decided I was tired of doing things that didn't excite me creatively and wanted to do everything I could to find that missing piece of myself. Out there. Somewhere. But I'm no social butterfly (that's my daughter). When I look in the mirror, I see myself as a little, ugly, green & gooey caterpillar inside a claustrophobic chrysalis. It was that last visit with HR that kicked me over the edge - suddenly, I couldn't WAIT to burst forth as a beautiful and flourishing butterfly... and so I became a networker! I put myself further out on a limb than ever before, talking to people, volunteering my time, going to events, interacting with groups as never before.
I won't say that networking's been easy - it's always nice to have a wingman (yes, Michael Lee Barlin, I'm talkin' to you! ;-). Because behind my (nearly) perpetual grin is a kid who's still scared, uncomfortable as hell selling himself and his talents. Like many writers, I'm content to close myself in a room and pound away at the keyboard until the sun doesn't shine (or til it shines again ;-).
But, I gotta say... as a result of my newfound extrovert, I've had AMAZING experiences, met and engaged with AMAZING people in a wide variety of circumstances. And for that, I have only UNEMPLOYMENT to thank...
(Ohhh... if only that paid the bills)
As I watch the ticker go down on the bank account with rent, car, insurance, utilities, food, and gas, breathing down my neck once again, it's hard not to feel bullied by the universe: it wasn't bad enough losing 60% of our household income when I lost my dayjob? It wasn't bad enough that exactly 3 weeks later, the other 40% went bye-bye when my wife was laid off? Dammit, Universe, you've had your way with me already!! Move on!! Go!! Bye Bye!! Don't let the friggin' black hole suck you dry on your way out!!
It was late last week - not long after I reiterated my earlier line about the Universe to a They Live Among Us actor - that I found myself posting to Facebook & Twitter: "
I would like to continue that thought - and I'd LOVE to get feedback from others out there who've felt pummeled by fate, bullied by life, and ravaged by circumstances.
Here we are, a full nine months after I posted "Zombie Apocalypse". Despite many possibilities for both of us (several prospects even looking like "sure things" after interviews & "inside tracks"), our family of 4 still (barely) survives on unemployment. Uhhhh... as well as the liquidation of retirement and kids' college funds.
When I lost my dayjob, I decided I was tired of doing things that didn't excite me creatively and wanted to do everything I could to find that missing piece of myself. Out there. Somewhere. But I'm no social butterfly (that's my daughter). When I look in the mirror, I see myself as a little, ugly, green & gooey caterpillar inside a claustrophobic chrysalis. It was that last visit with HR that kicked me over the edge - suddenly, I couldn't WAIT to burst forth as a beautiful and flourishing butterfly... and so I became a networker! I put myself further out on a limb than ever before, talking to people, volunteering my time, going to events, interacting with groups as never before.
I won't say that networking's been easy - it's always nice to have a wingman (yes, Michael Lee Barlin, I'm talkin' to you! ;-). Because behind my (nearly) perpetual grin is a kid who's still scared, uncomfortable as hell selling himself and his talents. Like many writers, I'm content to close myself in a room and pound away at the keyboard until the sun doesn't shine (or til it shines again ;-).
But, I gotta say... as a result of my newfound extrovert, I've had AMAZING experiences, met and engaged with AMAZING people in a wide variety of circumstances. And for that, I have only UNEMPLOYMENT to thank...
(Ohhh... if only that paid the bills)
As I watch the ticker go down on the bank account with rent, car, insurance, utilities, food, and gas, breathing down my neck once again, it's hard not to feel bullied by the universe: it wasn't bad enough losing 60% of our household income when I lost my dayjob? It wasn't bad enough that exactly 3 weeks later, the other 40% went bye-bye when my wife was laid off? Dammit, Universe, you've had your way with me already!! Move on!! Go!! Bye Bye!! Don't let the friggin' black hole suck you dry on your way out!!
It was late last week - not long after I reiterated my earlier line about the Universe to a They Live Among Us actor - that I found myself posting to Facebook & Twitter: "
Friday, January 20, 2012
The Lowest Common Denominator
I blame Jerry Springer.
In 1994 - in the name of ratings, of course - the former politician & Phil Donahue impersonator decided to regularly drag his "talk show" (and its guests and audience) through the sludge at the bottom of the barrel. And a new type of show was born: The Lowest Common Denominator. For a while, backbiting and fistfights were reserved ONLY for The Jerry Springer Show. If you were under-educated and had a beef with someone, typically you had (and still have) a really good shot at your 15 minutes of fame on Jerry's show. But these days, you have a lot more chances to launch that fame - maybe even get your own show! - and drag out your fame to 26.87269 minutes worth (e.g. the KarmaKarmaKarmaKarmaKarmaKardashians).
Now, I'm a writer. I understand that entertainment is typically borne out of conflict. In (most) movies & TV, you don't have a bunch of people just sitting around doing nothing. Yes - even SEINFELD, the TV show "about nothing" revolved around some sort of conflict. By definition, both media launch from the notion that things get worse before they get better.
But there's a HUGE difference between scripted, FICTIONAL entertainment, and its unscripted, "non-fiction" red-headed stepbrother. What we (audience included) have effected from this 17+ year tango with "real" conflict is a generation of Kardashians: people whose obsession with celebrity pretty much gives them license to be bad and/or to create conflict where conflict may not necessarily exist, up to and including 72-day sham marriages.
Nowadays we have everything from "Real" Housewives to the Snookie Situation (and everything in between) to keep us entertained. Tattoo bars, baby tiaras, outwitters/outplayers/outlasters... The list goes on. Not a day goes by when there isn't a block of programs featuring mud-flinging, bottom-of-the-barrel-dragging real(ly artificial) "reality" playing out in front of the cameras for the promise of fame and (mis)fortune.
What's funny is that - when placed in the field of today's reality fare - Jerry's 1-hour block looks relatively tame....
<<<Filling the spreadsheet, one "real" cell at a time.>>>
In 1994 - in the name of ratings, of course - the former politician & Phil Donahue impersonator decided to regularly drag his "talk show" (and its guests and audience) through the sludge at the bottom of the barrel. And a new type of show was born: The Lowest Common Denominator. For a while, backbiting and fistfights were reserved ONLY for The Jerry Springer Show. If you were under-educated and had a beef with someone, typically you had (and still have) a really good shot at your 15 minutes of fame on Jerry's show. But these days, you have a lot more chances to launch that fame - maybe even get your own show! - and drag out your fame to 26.87269 minutes worth (e.g. the KarmaKarmaKarmaKarmaKarmaKardashians).
Now, I'm a writer. I understand that entertainment is typically borne out of conflict. In (most) movies & TV, you don't have a bunch of people just sitting around doing nothing. Yes - even SEINFELD, the TV show "about nothing" revolved around some sort of conflict. By definition, both media launch from the notion that things get worse before they get better.
But there's a HUGE difference between scripted, FICTIONAL entertainment, and its unscripted, "non-fiction" red-headed stepbrother. What we (audience included) have effected from this 17+ year tango with "real" conflict is a generation of Kardashians: people whose obsession with celebrity pretty much gives them license to be bad and/or to create conflict where conflict may not necessarily exist, up to and including 72-day sham marriages.
Nowadays we have everything from "Real" Housewives to the Snookie Situation (and everything in between) to keep us entertained. Tattoo bars, baby tiaras, outwitters/outplayers/outlasters... The list goes on. Not a day goes by when there isn't a block of programs featuring mud-flinging, bottom-of-the-barrel-dragging real(ly artificial) "reality" playing out in front of the cameras for the promise of fame and (mis)fortune.
What's funny is that - when placed in the field of today's reality fare - Jerry's 1-hour block looks relatively tame....
<<<Filling the spreadsheet, one "real" cell at a time.>>>
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The "What-Ifs" of Life
I'll preface (there's that word again! :-) this post by mentioning the conventional wisdom of knowing history so we aren't doomed to repeat it. But then there are those little ditties that tell us not to look back, especially if there's regret involved. So what the hell is a soul to do?!?!
With as many little paths as we cross... Strike that - with as many forks in the road as we typically come to, it's difficult not to think back to the path which we took and the consequences (good AND bad) of those decisions.
For me, it's fascinating to think back to that early summer day when I was 8 - if I HADN'T been utterly clueless and gone "tiptoeing through my neighbor's tulips", would I have become a writer?
Others in my past involve a bottle and a "gopher gasser"; being a mortgage brat; a slow dance with the date of a trombone-playing friend; impromptu, rage-filled trips to Nowheresville my senior year of high school...
Then there's a big one - one that's defined life for us for more than 4 years now. Believe me - not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of that nice older realtor couple who helped us buy our first real HOUSE just before our daughter was born. The couple who handled everything, who treated us like family, who helped us get our piece of the American dream. It was three short years later that I found myself SCREAMING into the phone and hanging up on them, never to speak with them (at least, in PRIVATE) again. At that point in time - unbeknownst to us - they were running from the Feds, and the noose was tightening around them. Turns out they'd forged and/or falsified some documents and swindled HUNDREDS - by my estimation - out of their life savings and homes (both events for us, thank you very much).
With each of these forks came new paths - sure, some were fraught with peril and disaster, but some led pretty incredible places. I find myself considering the alternatives. I mean after all, this is life: that spreadsheet laid out before us has GARGANTUAN formulas plugged into it, most of which no one could EVER hope to conceivably understand.
I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I said that each day of life adds another 15-20 cells to our "Master" sheet; each with complex IF/THEN statements written into them, pulling from another 15-20 cells throughout the spreadsheet. If we "simply" re-entered (i.e. "corrected" or "modified") one of those "little" cells anywhere in that sheet, how many cells would change or - worst-case - DISAPPEAR ALTOGETHER, altering some significant portion of our lives? It's the Back to the Future scenario: would I erase myself (or anyone else I knew) from existence by simply "fixing" one of life's little hiccups? I mean, it'd be so easy to go back and say "no" to so many of these circumstances. Certainly, by getting a "do-over", we could save ourselves so much grief, shame, heartache, anger, etc. Right?
As I ponder those little "What-Ifs" of life, I imagine that ginormous spreadsheet laid out before me.
And I steel myself.
I focus on the new cells - the cells that contain the values and formulas of TODAY, and I continue my journey....
With as many little paths as we cross... Strike that - with as many forks in the road as we typically come to, it's difficult not to think back to the path which we took and the consequences (good AND bad) of those decisions.
For me, it's fascinating to think back to that early summer day when I was 8 - if I HADN'T been utterly clueless and gone "tiptoeing through my neighbor's tulips", would I have become a writer?
Others in my past involve a bottle and a "gopher gasser"; being a mortgage brat; a slow dance with the date of a trombone-playing friend; impromptu, rage-filled trips to Nowheresville my senior year of high school...
Then there's a big one - one that's defined life for us for more than 4 years now. Believe me - not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of that nice older realtor couple who helped us buy our first real HOUSE just before our daughter was born. The couple who handled everything, who treated us like family, who helped us get our piece of the American dream. It was three short years later that I found myself SCREAMING into the phone and hanging up on them, never to speak with them (at least, in PRIVATE) again. At that point in time - unbeknownst to us - they were running from the Feds, and the noose was tightening around them. Turns out they'd forged and/or falsified some documents and swindled HUNDREDS - by my estimation - out of their life savings and homes (both events for us, thank you very much).
With each of these forks came new paths - sure, some were fraught with peril and disaster, but some led pretty incredible places. I find myself considering the alternatives. I mean after all, this is life: that spreadsheet laid out before us has GARGANTUAN formulas plugged into it, most of which no one could EVER hope to conceivably understand.
I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I said that each day of life adds another 15-20 cells to our "Master" sheet; each with complex IF/THEN statements written into them, pulling from another 15-20 cells throughout the spreadsheet. If we "simply" re-entered (i.e. "corrected" or "modified") one of those "little" cells anywhere in that sheet, how many cells would change or - worst-case - DISAPPEAR ALTOGETHER, altering some significant portion of our lives? It's the Back to the Future scenario: would I erase myself (or anyone else I knew) from existence by simply "fixing" one of life's little hiccups? I mean, it'd be so easy to go back and say "no" to so many of these circumstances. Certainly, by getting a "do-over", we could save ourselves so much grief, shame, heartache, anger, etc. Right?
As I ponder those little "What-Ifs" of life, I imagine that ginormous spreadsheet laid out before me.
And I steel myself.
I focus on the new cells - the cells that contain the values and formulas of TODAY, and I continue my journey....
Sunday, January 8, 2012
OK - I know I'm a little late...
Way back in June, 2011, when I still had a bit of time on my hands, I declared publicly that I would (attempt to) start blogging on a weekly basis. So... yeah... a couple things changed along the way and I never QUITE got around to doing that. Then again, you probably already know that. 'Cause you've stared at blank pages on this site week after week, month after month, finally throwing your hands in the air and walking away, writing me off as just another one of "those" bloggers. I'm a bit perturbed with myself for what must be a massive letdown for the legion of readers who have hung on my every thought since the very beginning (note tongue planted firmly in cheek here). I bow before you, red-faced, in the most sincerest gesture of humility...
But it hasn't been a complete failure. And I'd like to catch you up a little.
But first: a little background. When I suddenly found myself unemployed in early May, I also had two school-aged children finishing the school year in Ventura County (where I also used to work); we felt that, with just one month to go in the school year, it was silly to uproot the kids and put them in new schools. So I shuttled them to school in the mornings, then whiled away those seven hours, awash in free WiFi at Starbucks, McD's, and Borders (RIP). Now, don't get me wrong... I loved having that time. I was able to make calls, send email, research jobs, get a little writing done (this blog and otherwise), and NETWORK to find The Next Big Thing. Little did I know that, as I became the little networker that I'd never EVER been before, I was opening up new possibilities. CREATIVE possibilities, which I'd desperately longed for for YEARS.
One thing has led to another - I was lunching with fellow writers & filmmakers, volunteered at the Inktip Pitch Summit, and finished a rewrite on QUANTA - a thriller I'm starting to fashion into my feature directorial debut. I've found that the more I open myself up to possibilities, the more possibilities open up to me!
Then one day, as I wandered the groups on LinkedIn, I stumbled across a post in the Save The Cat group from Anne Lower: "Check out my crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter!" I went over to the site, read all about this goth/noir/horror piece called They Live Among Us, and felt her pain as I read about how she, too, was tired of just sitting around waiting for something to happen with her projects. I immediately found myself contacting Anne. It wasn't long before she and I met up IRL for lunch, and we were off to the races on this little project! While TLAU has been a crash-course in new-world filmmaking, it - and pep talks from other filmmakers, writers, etc. - started proving to me that there was simply no excuse why we shouldn't ALL be doing something like this.
If you have a creative bone in your body, standing (sitting) idle is simply unacceptable.
(Unless you really don't want it)
Now, go forth fellow spreadsheeters. Concatinate. V-Lookup. Do it all.
You may just find that your bottom line will be far, far greater than the sum of its parts!
But it hasn't been a complete failure. And I'd like to catch you up a little.
But first: a little background. When I suddenly found myself unemployed in early May, I also had two school-aged children finishing the school year in Ventura County (where I also used to work); we felt that, with just one month to go in the school year, it was silly to uproot the kids and put them in new schools. So I shuttled them to school in the mornings, then whiled away those seven hours, awash in free WiFi at Starbucks, McD's, and Borders (RIP). Now, don't get me wrong... I loved having that time. I was able to make calls, send email, research jobs, get a little writing done (this blog and otherwise), and NETWORK to find The Next Big Thing. Little did I know that, as I became the little networker that I'd never EVER been before, I was opening up new possibilities. CREATIVE possibilities, which I'd desperately longed for for YEARS.
One thing has led to another - I was lunching with fellow writers & filmmakers, volunteered at the Inktip Pitch Summit, and finished a rewrite on QUANTA - a thriller I'm starting to fashion into my feature directorial debut. I've found that the more I open myself up to possibilities, the more possibilities open up to me!
Then one day, as I wandered the groups on LinkedIn, I stumbled across a post in the Save The Cat group from Anne Lower: "Check out my crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter!" I went over to the site, read all about this goth/noir/horror piece called They Live Among Us, and felt her pain as I read about how she, too, was tired of just sitting around waiting for something to happen with her projects. I immediately found myself contacting Anne. It wasn't long before she and I met up IRL for lunch, and we were off to the races on this little project! While TLAU has been a crash-course in new-world filmmaking, it - and pep talks from other filmmakers, writers, etc. - started proving to me that there was simply no excuse why we shouldn't ALL be doing something like this.
If you have a creative bone in your body, standing (sitting) idle is simply unacceptable.
(Unless you really don't want it)
Now, go forth fellow spreadsheeters. Concatinate. V-Lookup. Do it all.
You may just find that your bottom line will be far, far greater than the sum of its parts!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Deadlines
When I looked at my Blogspot dashboard and realized that I had ONE (1) post for the entire month of June, I couldn't help but be disappointed in myself. Now, this is mostly due to the fact that the kids are out of school and I'm not sitting in a city I no longer live in whiling away time. Though one couldn't tell it from my absence here, the month of June has been fairly productive on many fronts. Interviews, creative projects, writing assignments, and some travel and family time.
That's the beauty - and the curse - of life in the 21st Century... so many things going on at once. To a certain degree, it's become more difficult to live up to the adage "Do one thing, and do it well." There are so many things begging for our attention, yet - last I checked - there still remain only 24 hours in a day. While I constantly challenge that "empty" space of life when I simply must SLEEP (damn hypothalamus!), it can be difficult to prioritize the other 18-ish hours of the day. Especially when the world is your oyster, as it were.
To ensure I'm spending time on things of import, I've been challenging myself, putting deadlines of one sort or another into place. It's amazing how easy it it to accomplish something when you've got a fire under your ass! As such, I will, dear readers, place a similar deadline on my blog time, so as not to deprive you of my wisdom and humor. I've seen it done by fellow bloggers... it appears to work.
So let's try Sundays.
I must go now, as I'm on several deadlines. Until next we meet, keep filling in the cells on your spreadsheets!
That's the beauty - and the curse - of life in the 21st Century... so many things going on at once. To a certain degree, it's become more difficult to live up to the adage "Do one thing, and do it well." There are so many things begging for our attention, yet - last I checked - there still remain only 24 hours in a day. While I constantly challenge that "empty" space of life when I simply must SLEEP (damn hypothalamus!), it can be difficult to prioritize the other 18-ish hours of the day. Especially when the world is your oyster, as it were.
To ensure I'm spending time on things of import, I've been challenging myself, putting deadlines of one sort or another into place. It's amazing how easy it it to accomplish something when you've got a fire under your ass! As such, I will, dear readers, place a similar deadline on my blog time, so as not to deprive you of my wisdom and humor. I've seen it done by fellow bloggers... it appears to work.
So let's try Sundays.
I must go now, as I'm on several deadlines. Until next we meet, keep filling in the cells on your spreadsheets!
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Preface
The conceit of a preface is that it is typically penned by an author after a manuscript is finished. It’s almost like a sort of legend (or disclaimer, if you want to look at it like that). If there were, for instance, a preface at the beginning of an atlas of the United States (arranged alphabetically, without a miniature version of the entire country), it might read like this: “While each of the fifty pages inside this book don’t appear to connect in any way whatsoever, trust me, they do, and this is how…”
While this preface may be presumed by the reader to have been written AFTER the completion of this work, let me assure you that that is furthest from the truth… That is because I know how things go. Life is dirty, haphazard. It’s a patchwork of circumstances. A cacophony of events that by themselves may each explode into some logical beginning, middle, and end, but not always. In life, the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts; we have so many of these little things added into the mix – the little “dead-ends” in life, things that we start and stop, never returning to again. The only common thread would be the character(s).
Of course, I don’t need to point out that oftentimes “supporting” characters appear and disappear from the theatre of our lives without a flashing neon sign advertising the significance of their existence in our narratives. I move that every single “minor” character in our lives sheds some microscopic part of themselves, which is then incorporated into our mental and/or physical being, nudging us – often just ever so slightly – onto another path.
It is often difficult to draw lines between every event in a person’s life… If an author documented every moment of our lives into an objective, chronological history, invariably the harshest critics would tear it apart. “Without structure” some would say. Others would ask “What is the unifying theme?” I would venture to guess that nearly 100% of those people went through life very much the same way.
In pinball, that little metal ball doesn’t have the luxury of contemplating its existence. It is at the mercy of physics and the obstacles it encounters along the way. Occasionally, some sort of outside force (vis a vis a player using the flippers) can effect some change on the ball’s trajectory and momentum. Much like the events and people in our own lives. But at the end of the day – much like us – there are two givens in the longevity of a pinball: it is “born” and then it “dies.”
Between those two points lie 99.9999999999999999999% of the game….
Monday, May 23, 2011
Zombie Apocalypse
WOW... Three weeks - two major curve balls. To continue the baseball analogy, I've been hit by BOTH and haven't been given a walk by the ump. Now, it's not my style to argue with the ump - after all, in this instance, the ump is the universe, and I've found very very very few arguments with the universe come out in favor of the little guy...
Losing nearly 60% of a household income is devastating enough, but the last 40% was wiped out on Friday. That's right... three weeks to the day after I lost my job, my wife lost hers. As you can imagine, it's been a bit difficult to remain objective over the last few days....
Let me assure you - we're avoiding negativity, sharp knives, and booze for the next few weeks. For the children...
The good news is that we had an opportunity to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse before the proverbial doodoo hit the fan. Adding that to our stockpile of potassium iodide (one a day keeps the glow away!)... We have 995 rolls of gold foil - the guy at the door told us it'll be worth more than our gold bars AND Iraqi dinars COMBINED - plus, he said we can use it for our foil caps when the Psychic Friends Against Recycling Turtles invade the Earth on 11/12/13.
I'll tell you - chucking it all is looking better and better!!
Still waiting for the cells on the spreadsheet of my life to calculate... Damn thing's been running really slow when I started plugging all these new cells in.
Good news is that that little lizard guy helped me save $400 a year on my car insurance. Bad news is the little Australian bugger just drove off with the Sienna (paid for) after he backed into the Rav (not paid for). He's fast as hell - and surprisingly agile behind the wheel of a full-sized vehicle, even with the Highway Patrol chasing him while he's texting, talking NON-HANDS-FREE on his Blackberry, and eating too much marmite on toast....
Yeah, there have been some dark places over the years, but I've tried to keep my sense of humor and positive outlook.
Windows, doors, universe, blah blah blah, yada yada yada.
I have no intention whatsoever of ending up in another dark place, certainly won't write myself into some dingy jail like the Seinfeld quartet. Talk about a disappointing whimper. No... I'm going out with my humor and positivity ablazing. Screw it all! So, here it goes...
There's a priest and a 12-year-old lawyer holed up in the rectory (author's note: I always find this term amusing when speaking of priests). The cops are pounding on the door, demanding that the priest come out and face the music. The 12-year-old lawyer looks at the pathetic priest and says, "I'll get you off."
How's that for starters????
"The report of my death was an exaggeration." Mark Twain, 1897
Losing nearly 60% of a household income is devastating enough, but the last 40% was wiped out on Friday. That's right... three weeks to the day after I lost my job, my wife lost hers. As you can imagine, it's been a bit difficult to remain objective over the last few days....
Let me assure you - we're avoiding negativity, sharp knives, and booze for the next few weeks. For the children...
The good news is that we had an opportunity to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse before the proverbial doodoo hit the fan. Adding that to our stockpile of potassium iodide (one a day keeps the glow away!)... We have 995 rolls of gold foil - the guy at the door told us it'll be worth more than our gold bars AND Iraqi dinars COMBINED - plus, he said we can use it for our foil caps when the Psychic Friends Against Recycling Turtles invade the Earth on 11/12/13.
I'll tell you - chucking it all is looking better and better!!
Still waiting for the cells on the spreadsheet of my life to calculate... Damn thing's been running really slow when I started plugging all these new cells in.
Good news is that that little lizard guy helped me save $400 a year on my car insurance. Bad news is the little Australian bugger just drove off with the Sienna (paid for) after he backed into the Rav (not paid for). He's fast as hell - and surprisingly agile behind the wheel of a full-sized vehicle, even with the Highway Patrol chasing him while he's texting, talking NON-HANDS-FREE on his Blackberry, and eating too much marmite on toast....
Yeah, there have been some dark places over the years, but I've tried to keep my sense of humor and positive outlook.
Windows, doors, universe, blah blah blah, yada yada yada.
I have no intention whatsoever of ending up in another dark place, certainly won't write myself into some dingy jail like the Seinfeld quartet. Talk about a disappointing whimper. No... I'm going out with my humor and positivity ablazing. Screw it all! So, here it goes...
There's a priest and a 12-year-old lawyer holed up in the rectory (author's note: I always find this term amusing when speaking of priests). The cops are pounding on the door, demanding that the priest come out and face the music. The 12-year-old lawyer looks at the pathetic priest and says, "I'll get you off."
How's that for starters????
"The report of my death was an exaggeration." Mark Twain, 1897
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Chucking it all
Yeah, so it's been a few days... Our entire family loves Oregon, and it's been a while since we've been, so we spent a long weekend in Oregon for my wife's birthday. I'm happy to report that there was weather (typical and welcomed), that we had a wonderful time (we've never been disappointed)... and that WE DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK (no surprise here)!
Anytime we go up there, we dream of chucking it all - quitting our jobs, leaving California once and for all, and going someplace "to live and do what we really want." It's not just me. I am prone to bouts of ants-in-the-pants, likely an effect of growing up a mortgage brat, attending three different schools in less than a year, going from DC to Michigan to Texas as my dad moved up the ladder in the mortgage business. No, it's not just me, because my upbringing is different than my wife's, and she always buys into the dream, too. I would imagine it's a pretty common occurrence among the general population.
So why are we all so afraid to - in the immortal words of the great philosopher, Nike - "Just do it"?
I am of the firm opinion that in order to learn and grow, to be better humans, to really EXPERIENCE life, we need to move, change, and see and touch different things. But this is where the pesky quandary of life always seems to elbow its way in... We have a family. We have responsibilities. We have cats. To top it off, in our particular situation, our savings was wiped out after lengthy bouts of unemployment and some less-than-scrupulous "friends" of ours (now in federal prison). We can't just uproot the whole kitten-caboodle (literally) and fly by the seat of our pants. Can we???
My wife and I "chucked it all" once before, not long after we got married. It was my doing - a week after a phone call from my best friend who'd just landed himself a job in LA, and I was driving from Chicago to LA with only my clothes, my computer, a small stack of scripts, and a handful of contacts. While we are a few years older, we have re-demonstrated this streak several times since. And, I'm happy to report, we've never ended up worse as a result.
It's been proven over and over that life is a web of paths. To borrow from earlier posts, life is a spreadsheet, full of IF/THEN formulas. We can also talk about windows, doors, etc., etc. The heart and mind bounce you back and forth between what's best for you and yours, what's "expected" from society, and what's "possible" (in oh so many ways). In an earlier draft of "Somewhere Along the Way," the main character, Thomas, shares life lessons with his 21-year-old son: "It's OK to stand in the middle of the road to figure out which way to go - but don't do it too long. Because then life will just pass you by..."
Forget the horror stories that your mom and Hollywood taught you and go with me here... Picture yourself as a hitchhiker, walking along some grand, cosmic thoroughfare, with your thumb out. It's important that you're WALKING, with your THUMB OUT - otherwise, you're just a spectator, letting life's possibilities pass by.
I signed on to my usual websites this morning in my search for my "next thing" and saw something posted by another friend, GB, this morning. A quick web search attributes this beaut to George Harrison: "Life flows on within you, and without you."
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Anytime we go up there, we dream of chucking it all - quitting our jobs, leaving California once and for all, and going someplace "to live and do what we really want." It's not just me. I am prone to bouts of ants-in-the-pants, likely an effect of growing up a mortgage brat, attending three different schools in less than a year, going from DC to Michigan to Texas as my dad moved up the ladder in the mortgage business. No, it's not just me, because my upbringing is different than my wife's, and she always buys into the dream, too. I would imagine it's a pretty common occurrence among the general population.
So why are we all so afraid to - in the immortal words of the great philosopher, Nike - "Just do it"?
I am of the firm opinion that in order to learn and grow, to be better humans, to really EXPERIENCE life, we need to move, change, and see and touch different things. But this is where the pesky quandary of life always seems to elbow its way in... We have a family. We have responsibilities. We have cats. To top it off, in our particular situation, our savings was wiped out after lengthy bouts of unemployment and some less-than-scrupulous "friends" of ours (now in federal prison). We can't just uproot the whole kitten-caboodle (literally) and fly by the seat of our pants. Can we???
My wife and I "chucked it all" once before, not long after we got married. It was my doing - a week after a phone call from my best friend who'd just landed himself a job in LA, and I was driving from Chicago to LA with only my clothes, my computer, a small stack of scripts, and a handful of contacts. While we are a few years older, we have re-demonstrated this streak several times since. And, I'm happy to report, we've never ended up worse as a result.
It's been proven over and over that life is a web of paths. To borrow from earlier posts, life is a spreadsheet, full of IF/THEN formulas. We can also talk about windows, doors, etc., etc. The heart and mind bounce you back and forth between what's best for you and yours, what's "expected" from society, and what's "possible" (in oh so many ways). In an earlier draft of "Somewhere Along the Way," the main character, Thomas, shares life lessons with his 21-year-old son: "It's OK to stand in the middle of the road to figure out which way to go - but don't do it too long. Because then life will just pass you by..."
Forget the horror stories that your mom and Hollywood taught you and go with me here... Picture yourself as a hitchhiker, walking along some grand, cosmic thoroughfare, with your thumb out. It's important that you're WALKING, with your THUMB OUT - otherwise, you're just a spectator, letting life's possibilities pass by.
I signed on to my usual websites this morning in my search for my "next thing" and saw something posted by another friend, GB, this morning. A quick web search attributes this beaut to George Harrison: "Life flows on within you, and without you."
Couldn't have said it better myself.
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